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The Right Time … for Who

December 18, 2014

I was walking home today from work, feeling dirty. Not because of my ongoing romps in the bedroom but because of the street view and the view of the given circumstance… it’s the right time for change. A man I admire once told me this:

It’s all in how you frame it.

Today is 12/13/14 and I have always been a fan of dates, not necessarily the romantic ones.

Today I came out of debt for the first time since I was 17.” It was the right time to be debt free… and embrace debt forgiveness (if you’re the government or some shit).

It is time to actually make something. The taste that is left in my mouth by serving a company or a product that sells false hope or remains worthless is far worse than the bitterest or the sourest percimmon.

I walked by that place where that guy got shot a few days ago. There were about 12 candles surrounding a bottle or orange soda and a picture of Jesus. I just stopped and stared at it for about two minutes. I wonder who put these things here?

As I write part of this a friend sits behind me. I have never written while someone literally watched over my shoulder. Everything changes when it is being observed, even on a subatomic level. Being made up of all those little particles, it is a logical notion to be aware that our awareness of being watched changes everything. What happens when the watching ends?

Dance like no one’s watching.

Today is the right time for you to love you. Often times we all beat ourselves up over missteps in relationships, our financial debt or whatever else we perceive as shortcomings. I have probably mentioned it once before somewhere in these pages but a dear friend once said to me the following, little line which still rings as dear to me than ever before.

Hey, you are enough.

While hearing this in the midst of a dramatic, mid-twenties nervous breakdown it certainly wasn’t a moment of clarity. Yet, the more I have thought about those simple words, the clearer it all becomes. It’s not what I haven’t done or have yet to do, it’s what I have done. It’s not what you didn’t get, it’s what you’ve got.

the right time

In our nation we are taught to compete. While competition is good for the market when the veil of “economic prosperity” is lifted where do you find yourself? How do we “compete” in a cycle where money is simply meant to trickle down for a bit only to rise back up to the top in the forms of fees, insurance, interest, student loans and the income tax. Seems far from the light side of the perspective to dwell on such realities yet I somehow manage a smile to find myself at a break even point in my life.

And I met someone new.

^_^

Boy he made me smile so much yesterday. I wonder if I will ever see him again.

Nonetheless, “it’s all in how you frame it.” Right Jerre?

A really big, tall, Native America guy once said to me “I fall in love a hundred times a day if I’m lucky.” However many fleeting moments I have had with so many men who have turned and ran for the hills matters not. What does matter is the small moments of happiness we both had before they were gone.

Money, love, sex, relationships, bills, work, random thoughts… it all adds up to getting lost in the muck. I remind myself of these quotes and know that I am “enough” and it is all in the way I “frame it” and that it’s o.k. for me to “fall in love a hundred times a day.” One day it will be returned in an unquestionable way that leaves me knowing that it’s the right time… but as for who, who knows.

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