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Not the Right Time…

November 23, 2014

I cannot for the life of me figure out whether or not I even like him anymore. The term self-sabotage comes to mind.


It has been over a year. This guy and I have been talking sporadically due, in part, to his hectic work schedule (or possible to his already being in a relationship of which I know nothing). What’s the other part? It’s gotta be that good ole, indecisive “do I want a relationship or not” mentality. I know. I created that mentality.




Let me make one thing perfectly clear. We have not had sex yet. Well, we haven’t gone all the way. You know, cause in the gay world blow jobs are like handshakes. “Good to meet you. See you later.” I actually had one guy mouth “thank you” (while he was on the phone) followed by a quick wave on his way out the door, but that was last Tuesday so that’s neither here nor there.

not the right time

Back to the guy at hand, the one. So, “what happened to that one guy?” my friend Becca asks. I share, “well it’s been about six weeks and I was abiding by my rule. I’ll text ya once or twice and call once. If I don’t hear from ya I figure you have moved on to the next John.” My name is not John nor am I a prostitute. Otherwise, I would be rich.


“That sucks. We all really liked him.” Becca was right. It did suck. He was… is a nice guy… from what I know. He is certainly not a one not stand in any sense of the word. We have had multiple dates. He has met a handful of my friends and I have spent the night once. Plus, I still have a light jacket of his from last Fall. This is what I get from him last night.


What up”

The infamous booty call text message. “What’s up… sup… yo” They all mean the same thing. Let’s have sex right now. Can you magically appear in front of me and be totally in the mood for some lovin’? In this instance the answer is no mainly because this particular text message arrived at 4:28 a.m. this morning. No one in the world is awake during that time (Central Time Zone). Maybe some people gotta get up at 4:30 for work but not 4:28.


I could not really wrap my head around that because even the bar crawlers should be asleep right around then… and he is not a bar crawler though he had to have been drunk to text me at that time. What did I reply?

“You woke me up, that’s ‘what up'”

This was followed by some short swear words after I realized that I was going to be so tired in the morning as my perfected 1.5 hour increment sleeping cycle had been broken. I am so tired of typing this. Beauty rest is more than beauty rest, it’s leg rest, arm rest, eyeball rest. Uggg, my eyeballs. What did he reply?

“Ha ok then go back to bed ?”


What did I reply? Nothing.


I was so pissed, am pissed and will be pissed for about ten more minutes. First of all, I do not care if you are hitting me up for a booty call. Sometimes it’s very cute to me. However, I do very much care if you are not respecting the thing called sleep. I will throw things at you.


Look for my follow up YouTube video about this late night, booty call business.


There’s just too many guys in the mix of late and not one of them has made a stance to really attempt to claim me, not that they could cause I guess in one sense every guy is very similar. We want what we can’t have, often take for granted the things that we do have and feel bitter and contempt when someone is honest enough to say “I am not into it.” … Yawn. I think that about covers all I can say about it for now… at least until the third cup of coffee.


Golly he’s such a good guy, smart, motivated, handsome and more. Still, 4:28, its not the right time.


Thanks Danny.

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